One of the most exciting things about being fringe pregnant, is telling people about it. Just like a real baby pretty much everyone is happy for you and just like a real baby, it is a lot harder to get rid of it once they know about it. The first person I told was the show’s biological daddy, Jason Pestell. He was happy about the whole thing and I explained that I just wanted to write and perform and that if this baby was to live then he would have to do the admin stuff like picking venues and times and making posters and promoting. Jason said NO! That he would not do it, he will help me learn how to do it. He explained that if I want to dress the baby in pretty clothes and show the baby off, I would need to also wipe up its shit and vomit. I paraphrase. Jason is now known as the dead beat dad for leaving me like this, he has since pissed off to Perth, probably making more fringe babies as I type.
Family are the most exiting people to tell and once I had decided to keep the baby I told my comedy dad, Craig Egan. He is the promoter/organiser/road trip driver for Adelaide comedy, the group that has looked after my comedy since it emerged. He said something very daddish, he said ‘’well done’’. He has tentatively offered to put a roof over its head, I cannot expect too much from this though, the baby is the biggest thing in my life but Craig has like a whole Chinese orphanage of kids to sort out over Fringe and the rest of the year. The lovely thing about Craig is that it doesn’t matter how the baby looks, if I put the work in, he will love it as much as I do, even if it is a ranga.
I also have acquired a little merry band of supporters, which is fortunate because there are certain skills I lack.
Julia Clarke- Comedy bff. Julia is very gen Y, good with visual arts, computers and tact. These are all things I lack. Julia has produced one Edinburgh fringe baby but is struggling to conceive this year so she has offered to help me out loads- which is fab.
New friend Laura Hughes AKA techy biatch. Laura has technical skills and is organised, again skills I do not have (and am not at all interested in getting.) She is also an avid comedy watcher so she will have a great perspective on how to raise the child.
I also have had some exciting ideas coming from Victoria, somebody has offered to help me take it to Melbourne when it is born. Going to get my head round the Adelaide thing first, but if the bub looks healthy- I will do MICF. TWINS – aaarrrggghh!
So the first trimester is going well, I have no morning sickness and am just totally pumped and smug. Cannot stop thinking about the baby. I have a plan to keep it growing well in the womb.
1) KEEP FIT-Work really hard, get as much varied quality stage time as I can. Set up gigs in different states and venues, ask dad for any free spots when people drop out.
2) ORGANIC AND NATURAL- Write lots of different stuff, don’t polish, record everything on camera. Remember I am funny, have fun.
3) SORT OUT THE NURSERY- find out about different venues, primarily I want a good landlord in a good location with a good timeslot. That’s asking a lot.
4) BABY NAMES- nothing fancy, just get to the point, it should suit its name. Picking a name is apparently vital to getting the look.
5) SAVE MONEY- I need to work out how much this baby is going to cost.
If anyone has any ideas about the nursery or baby names feel free to comment or email me firstname.lastname@example.org.