Admission

Georgie Carroll  UR89564528

42 years of Living fast while not dying young bit have created me – A chaos embracer/ balance denier that milks almost every second for joy, cash, exposure, or getting better at stuff.

Let’s see if this Blog gets any of the aforementioned. Georgie Carroll, a mental Olympian that is physically fucked.

 

 Medical Notes 

#PMH

42 Y/O Female

Ex-smoker 13 pack years

Height 163 cm, weight 113 kilos -Obese BMI 40.

Torn rotator cuff (Kart wheeling to impress an 8-year-old girl)

*(requires hydraulic ambulance but not an ambulance helicopter hoist)

Right Total Knee replacement 2018 Awaiting left side.

GORD. ( involved in an online GORD support group- mainly as a Troll)

Recurrent heamarrhoids, Heammrhoids, Arse Grapes.

ETOH- Drinks most days, somewhere between 2 glasses and 8 swimming pools of wine or cider, has sought help on more than one occasion but finds sobriety dreadful. High functioning alcoholic.

Child birth x 2

Termination x1

Trans Vaginal Tape for Stress incontinence (repair required due to laughing to hard too often)

#FAMILY HISTORY

Exemplary gene pool

(Ne Mills) Maternal lineage has throws out pendulous cancer proof tits, vaginas that can take a beating in early adulthood but are prone to collapse on all sides if pressured by middle age. Mother drinks as much alcohol as Georgie but does not consider this a problem because she drinks expensive wine.

Immortal- Grandma (94) is still alive, prone to falling but never smashing and still has the mental faculties to help clear the rooms of the recently deceased in her independent living accommodation in order to loot toilet rolls and tinned goods.

Paternal Genetics. Three generations of ‘Train’ Males have dropped dead in their 50s of heart attacks. Father (70) is a grim reaper fugitive hiding in the Mountains of Southern Spain living an almost self-sufficient existence and marrying people spontaneously so as to baffle the Angel of Death should she (it’s definitely a woman) locate her subjects through town hall documents.

#SOCIAL

Lives independently with Male Spouse, Married 17 years, together 20. Georgie’s only ever significant partner, the only person she has ever loved and the only person she has ever shagged twice or sober.

Describes her marriage as ”Best friends with very, very occasional benefits. I’m part of a loyalty program, I’m not switching, I’m not losing my points.”

2 dependents, currently lovely boys aged 12 and 13 years. Boys appear well adjusted. Georgie would prefer to not detail them too much in her records as she is paranoid about grooming, this is the same reason she does not send her children to religious schools.

Registered Nurse since 2000 predominantly working in Intensive Care. Georgie rarely knows what day it is, this could be due to shift work or her tendency to only plan the next hour or so. Currently on restricted duties due to Osteo Arthritis, she works .21 FTE predominantly singing to elderly demented people to stop them escaping from their beds after broken hips. She prefers this to Intensive Care.

#Plan

Stop Kart wheeling? Maybe.